Time Out!!

A good dose of laughter...

All-time best-worst PJ's...

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Three cockroaches were going on the road, suddenly one of them started singing the song -- AASHIQ BANAYA AAPNE.

Few mins later, all the three cockroaches died......any idea why?????


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COZ the song is HIT.....

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What is the vector form of SRI DEVI?????

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TABU ... WHy? Socho?
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Sri Devi did Chandni and Tabu did Chandni Bar
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Once all the scientists die and go to heaven............
They decide to play hide-n-seek.........
Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den...........
He is supposed to count upto 100...and then start searching.....
Everyone starts hiding except Newton.........
Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it rightin front of Einstein...........

Einsteins counting......
97,98,99.....

100........

He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front........
Einstein says "newtons out..newtons....out....."
Newton denies and says i am not out........
He claims tht he is not Newton......
All the scientists come out and he proves tht he is not newton..........

HOW?????????.................









....scroll down......... further..............











His proof:
Newton says:
I am standing in a square of area 1m square.....
That means i am Newton per meter square......Hence i am Pascal....since newton per meter
square = Pascal [:D]
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Why does a sadhu who spent all his life chanting in Haridwar not affected by electric shocks ??


>> Cause he has infinite resistance ( chanting om-om-om(ohm-ohm-ohm))
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People started worshipping a dog when he was lying on the road upside down, Why ??

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Ans . Because DOG ka ulta is GOD ....

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Tortoise and rabbit gave JEE exam and tortoise got 80% and rabbit got
81%.


Both wanted admission in any iit and cut off was 85%.


Rabbit dint get but tortoise got it¦







How?
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Ans: Remember tortoise had won the race when you were in first standard..

So.. Sports quota!!!!

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There were 10 elephants swimming in a pond. Man jumps inside and swims underneath them and counts the number of legs.

There are only 36 legs.HOW??

How??

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One elephant was swimming BACKSTROKE!!

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--Gulshan Grover is riding a bike at the velocity of
light.
--On the way he offers a lift to a stranger.

--Stranger: 'Sir, can I know your name please'
--Gulshan : 'I am Gulshan Grocer'
--Stranger : Grocer? Sure you dont mean Gulshan
Grover??
--Gulshan: No it is Grocer.
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.Now tell me why did Gulshan say so...
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Scroll down..
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Further...
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Little further...
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ANS: Because at the speed of light V=C

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Whats the opposite of Gopalakrishnan?

+Comepalakrishnan.

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A man went to a STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and slapped the
operator twice.


:)

Guess why ?








because there it was written "Number dial karne se
pehele do lagae"

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A man is riding on his bike through a very dense forest in the evening. After about an hour he sees a peacock appear all of a sudden in the way - and the peacock is smiling at him.
The man feels its kinda weird and carries on traveling. Another hour passes and he sees the same peacock again in the middle of the road smiling at him.
The man is a little scared now, but says to himself that he is just tired and is just imagining things and carries on with his ride.
Yet another hour passes and he finds the peacock again appearing out of nowhere smiling at him.........

Why is this happening?????


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Because the man is riding TVS Victor and so "More smiles per hour".
NOTE: (for the firangs and duffers - a 'More' is a peacock in Hindi)
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gib. this was worst PJ...

Question:Whatz a PJ ?
Answer: Obviously "a poor joke"
Question: Whatz a (P + i J)?
Answer: "complex poor joke"
But why don't people laugh on a "complex poor joke" ?


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Bcoz the joke part of it is imaginary.
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Adios.

Google Under Attack!

For all those hardcore Google talk lovers...

Bad news and Good news...

Bad news is we have a crisis at doors...

gtalk id's slowly and steadily one after another are under attack...

Yes some genius has finally cracked gtalk and thrown it into the trash box of messengers, which can be and have been attacked by malwares and spywares.

The era of G talk untouchable by crackers and hackers for spamming is over... and this is just the beginning...

The Problem:

Any yahoo user would know the problem... you get a message from anonymous sender about some xyz site and xyz stuff... and once you click onto those sites you indirectly allow spywares into your computer....

Well the master genius in case of gtalk is one step ahead... The message never comes from anonymous sender... its always from a pal in your friends list.

This is how the message looks like:

[your friend's ID] just uploaded a new photo on heysan.
Check it out at ht tp://i.heysan.c om/Cmthy3c7
(Please dont click it, i have edited it a bit to avoid any chances of your hands slipping by mistake, mouse button being pressed in the process and the doomed link getting access to your computer and ofcourse you being totally unaware of it...)

So while we all crib for the gtalk lapse... Its good news for many hackers, crackes and computer nerds. The invincible is tamed.

We should appreciate the genius who managed to crack G talk finally, throwing open new challenges to Google team as well as to every cracker and hacker waiting to make money out of this lapse...

Note: If you are a Yahoo Patriot, then you can give a small demonic smile to every gtalker you meet., now both of you are sailing in the same boat...

The problem has just begun... hope the Google team solves it quickly before it becomes a devastating menace to Google's reputation...

Psst: I dont know if you are recieving such IM's from me as well... So, if you are recieving ignore them and if you are not recieving, then be happy for me.

My Experience with Truth....

Well... for all those ignorant indians who dunno what the title is... its the name of a very famous book(famous for gandhi fans :) ) written by the father of our nation, Mahatma Gandhi.

And I have rightly chosen it as my blog title.

It's a simple story that might be common for some, obscure for others, truth for me.

Long long time ago....

Once upon a time.....

Two days ago to be precise....

I had a normal day at the office... like any other day....

I got up from my chair, looked at my computer screen, waited for it to show "Windows is shutting down"....

I sat down. I drank water from the bottle.

I got up. I signed in the register my 'out time'. I got down. I got down to the cellar. (thats where i park my car - b2)

As far as i think there was nothing unusual till here. Normal crap story.

Well it all began when I was driving back home...

I had a very bad accident. The experience was even worse than the accident.

Please check the image.

[ from right "me in car" , from down "the guy on bike"]

It was one of the worst day (night) of my life...

12:05 AM , Out of nowhere did a bike come at full speed right in front of my car only to get dashed by my car.

I have got a good habit of seat-belt so i was saved from any kind of injury.

But the guy on bike was not so lucky... He ended by flying in the air and breaking quite a few bones in the accident.

But that was when the story began...

Since I was safe... I came out of my car and immediately checked for the health of the bike guy...

Thats where i got a shock... as the guy was struggling to get up... people gathered around and started asking me questions...

I was the "guy in car" who had hit the "poor guy on bike"...

The guy on bike was loosing blood and people were worried about how will he pay money and why was i driving on the road! Some took the liberty to ask me for money to keep quiet. While all this was happening the guy on the bike was still bleeding.

I somehow pushed the guys and asked the injured guy whether he was hurt anywhere. He was.

He had a fractured leg. And he needed immediate medical attention.

I shouted at the mob ready to engulf me because I was the "guy in the car". I said whoever wants to thrash me can sit in the car and thrash me after I get this guy to hospital.

I was worried, but I was right. Finally, the people now turned there attention to the guy who by now had lost enough blood. He was picked up by a few people and made to sit in the rear of my car.

Thank god. As he sat,he immediately spoke to me and told sorry since he realized that he came too sudden on to the road and had caused accident. He asked me to leave him there with his bike and go home. I couldnt as he was bleeding. I said I will leave you till the hospital, but he insisted on going home rather than a hospital.

I took him to his sisters home which was nearby.

As if the mob thing was not enough, the guys sister came out and started scolding him for getting another accident, followed by her mother-in-law who repeated the same things.

All these was happening when the guy was seriously bleeding. The sister took a mere 15 mins to change clothes apart from 10-15 mins of drama outside her house and get in car to take him to hospital. His husband was out and not lifting phone throughout this.

12:35AM. Finally he was admitted to the hospital. I felt relieved as nothing serious happened to him when he was with me. I waited for some time, gave the guys sister my details and went home.

But throughout this I felt ashamed at the way the guy's family treated the matter. They were more interested in scolding him than treating him for injuries.

But that was not enough trouble for a night, was it?

For being a good person, one has to pay the price.

I went home and told my father the complete thing. He called up the doctor who was taking care of the guy and confirmed the status. He got up and got ready for the drama which was to come.

Now comes the shocking part,

We went to the police station to find that I was accused in hit-and-run case of a poor painter boy.

I was to be arrested immediately. The case has been booked and the victim was seriously bleeding in ICU.

The victim's jija who had been missing throughout the drama had lodged the complaint.

According to the police, the case was very clear, I was the rich guy in car who hit the poor guy on the bike.


Shocked. Surprised. Jolted. Hit with lighting bolt.

The invisible jija knew exactly what had happened. I rammed the car into the bike breaking his bones.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

That was what exactly how I felt.

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The victim was not even asked whether it was his mistake or not,

The victim's sister was not even asked whether there was anyone who had helped them,

The victim's sister's mother-in-law informed that he was admitted to hospital after being run-over-by-a-car.

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We went to complain about the accident so that I could claim insurance for the damaged car.

I ended up as a criminal who had brutally run-over-a-poor-guy and dissappeared after the heinous act.
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So this is how I ended up in police station. First police case filed against me, in my whole family I guess, in three generations, I guess.

But like all stories, this story too had a happy ending, the victim got consciousness and immediately stated that he was at fault and i was not negligent. I guess any indian couldnot lie on Gandhi Jayanti.

Case withdrawn with mutual settlement.

Had hickups when police personnel started demanding money for the whole case and when we found out that guy had no license when he was driving and insurance money for damage to car and guy will not be easily available if the guy had no license...

But thanks to senior police personnel who intervened in the case, explained to me and my family the full case at the end of the day, how it would not effect anything for me in future since the case was filed in haste by a relative, and how i need not pay a single penny to any police personel for the services renedered.

In the end, a good and bad example for me to learn and how to be more careful in future.

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Tips for you:

1) In case of accident, make sure your first priority is saving lives.

2) In case people harass you, dont lose calm, stand tall, even if you are at fault be humble and accept it, and emphasis on saving life of the guy at all costs.

3) Please make sure you get contact details of atleast two-three witnesses on the spot of accident.(which I failed and hence the drama)

4) Try your best to be polite when talking to people in hospital, they take care of thousands of patients and you are no special god-gifted super-duper being to get special treatment. Be patient when in hospital. Those guys know what they are doing.

5) Dont believe the words of others in case of accident and try to get direct information from patient/victim. (As in my case, the victims mother was telling everyone in hospital that a rich guy had run over a poor guy)

6) Be polite to police personel, however harsh they appear to begin with, they will melt down and be more helpful.

In short, never lie, have failt in truth, its the harder way, but surely the rewards for standing by what is right will give strength to tackle any problem in future.

To finish off,

Gandhi: Whenever I despair, I remember that the way of truth and love has always won. There may be tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they may seem invincible, but in the end, they always fail. Think of it: always.

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Also, please pray for the healthy recovery of the guy-on-the-bike.

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UPDATE: They are asking X lac''s because they are poor. Some lawyer promised them that he could get X lac's of rupees from us from this case and they obliged to him.

Hard Lesson I learnt: Never trust a poor person in accident cases if you are rich.

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